To The Fathers of the Girls.....
This month, we celebrated International Women's Day at Orange Seeds Montessori Childcare Centre, and we've decided to spark a conversation that's close to our hearts. It's about dads and their daughters, and the superpower dads have to shape a world where girls can soar. This blog is for every father who's ever wondered how he can help his daughter conquer the world.
A Personal Story
A few weeks ago, I invited my friend and his wife over for dinner. They're expecting their first child, and like many excited parents-to-be, they couldn't wait to find out the baby's gender. It turns out they're having a baby girl. During dinner, my friend shared that he's been thinking a lot about his unborn daughter and the challenges she might face as a girl. As a woman and a mother of three, I can attest that life isn't easy for girls. There are so many expectations: to be a mother, a wife, to work, earn money, build a career, and always compete with men, proving that we can do the same things, maybe even better.
Understanding Girls' Mindsets and Interests
When raising a girl, it's key to remember that their interests and ways of engaging with the world might not always match up with boys'. While boys might be all about running around, kicking soccer balls, or zooming cars across the living room, girls might find their joy in the quiet corners of the house, lost in a world of colours, drawing in their favourite books.
Encouraging Nurturing and Beyond
Girls often show a nurturing side early on, playing 'mom' with their dolls, pushing strollers, or 'cooking' up a storm in their play kitchens. It's a beautiful sight, this early demonstration of care and empathy. And yes, we often encourage it. We buy them kitchens, dolls, strollers, loads of paint, pencils, colouring books, and playdough. All fantastic for their development, showcasing their talents and nurturing their emotional growth. But as these young girls grow into future leaders, creators, thinkers, and caretakers of the next generation, they need a toolbox filled with more than just nurturing skills.
Tips for Dads
Tip 1: Strike a Balance Between Academics and Athletics
My older daughter, who successfully graduated from the IB program with a score of 40, told me recently that she wished I had signed her up for a sport when she was younger. For those who may not know, the maximum score in the IB program is 45, and she did so much better than we all expected with her academics. In our family, we prioritized academics and art, and while we valued physical activity, we didn't necessarily focus on sports. However, the point is that even though academics is extremely important, it should be well balanced with sports. Girls in sports tend to be very confident, especially in social situations. So, tip number one: play active games with your little princess. Teach her how to kick a ball, play tag, and as she gets older, help her acquire skills like skating or skiing, and sign her up for soccer once a week. Sports will help her build resilience and self-discipline. Encourage team sports, and don't worry if your daughter isn't physically strong for the sport; the goal is to stay active, build resilience, and develop self-discipline.
Tip 2: Inspire Adventure and Courage in Your Little Princess
I often read a book, "Princess and the Show" by Caryl Hart, to my younger daughter, who is four now. The last sentence in the book is, "There is no end to the things that princesses can do." I love this book because it's inspiring. You don't need to be manlike to be successful in life, but you should be brave enough to try things. So, tip number two: encourage your girl to try new things. Even if she's hesitant, a little push might help her overcome that mountain. And if she fails, that's a great lesson, as long as she has the courage to try again. That's where a father's job comes in: to be there for her and support her. Your goal as a parent is to make her comfortable leaving her comfort zone, to be curious, and to be brave.
Tip 3: Fostering Self-Discipline in Your Daughter
I recently read a great book called "Helping Children Succeed" by Paul Tough, and I think every parent should give it a go. In it, Tough explores why some kids do well and others don't. He asks, is it about where they grow up, their DNA, or something else? One key thing he points out is that having self-discipline can really help people get ahead. So, here's a tip for all the dads out there: lead by example when it comes to sticking to your goals. If you've committed to reading a book every night, make sure you do it. We all feel too tired sometimes, but it's important not to skip these habits. Your daughter is watching and learning from you, so show her that being consistent and disciplined can lead to success.
As your daughter grows and starts setting her own goals, whether they're small at first or more ambitious later on, it's important to be there to support and encourage her. Sticking to goals can be challenging, and it may require some creativity on your part to help her stay on track. Whether it's setting up a reward system, creating a visual progress chart, or simply offering words of encouragement, your support can make all the difference in helping her develop this essential skill. By fostering her self-discipline from a young age, you're equipping her with a tool that will serve her well throughout her life, in both her personal and professional endeavours.
Creating a Better Future for Girls
Finally, if you're aiming to create a brighter future for girls, the journey starts with you. Take a good look at how you interact with the women in your life – be it at home, work, the daycare, or even the grocery store. Are you treating them with the respect and equality they deserve? Every dad with a newborn girl should ponder this, just like my friend did. By doing so, we can ensure a world where girls lead lives filled with joy and fulfillment.
It's essential to recognize and challenge your own biases. True equality isn't about abandoning courteous gestures like holding doors open for women; it's about understanding that good manners are not at odds with equality. Real equality means ensuring that women's voices are heard, their contributions are valued, and they are respected in all aspects of life. It's about realizing that equality is about fairness and respect, while manners are about showing consideration and kindness to others. True equality also means that women have equal opportunities with men. Let's aim to create a world where our daughters will thrive, where equality enrich every aspect of their lives.
